Maya Richard – My Little Boy

 

I cherish the times we had together baby. I think of you every second of everyday. I remember when I played shaggy “it wasn’t me” and you would start kicking. I remember when I would put on the blender or use the vacuum you would kick so hard I would think, okay baby boy doesn’t NOT like this time to stop. I remember how much I loved you. I remember when I was in labor with you. How I went into shock because they told me your heart stopped beating. How I started shaking and was SO cold.. my blood pressure dropped so low, because really, I was heart broken. I was totally broken. I could not believe your heart stopped beating. Delivering you was one of scariest moments of mine and your dads life. I realize now how broken I was knowing you weren’t going to come out screaming. My body was almost shutting down, not because of labor, but because of my broken heart. I love you baby, and I will never stop loving you. You were my first, and you will always be. I love you so much. Maya Richard Morgan-Chubb, I will cherish the time I had with you for the rest of my life. Thank you so much for the gift of motherhood.

My 30th week of pregnancy picture

She told me: “I’m not over the death of my baby boy and I never will be, so the mention of his name doesn’t remind me that he died, it lets me know that people remember that he lived.”

-Jill Stark