Diary Entry #10

4:16 PM 7/10/19 I am still sick but I think it is finally starting to let up a bit. I haven’t done anything the last two days because I have been sick and being sick and pregnant makes getting around and getting things done feel impossible. My existential has not let up one bit and…

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Diary Entry #9

7/9/19 10:22 Pregnant and sick! Yay! Haha. But in all seriousness I am so uncomfortable and pregnant. Being sick while you are pregnant is the absolute worst and I was feeling way too confident because I haven’t caught a cold this whole pregnant.. but here I am. There is still so much to get done…

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Diary Entry #8

7/5/19 10:23 am I have not been able to tell anyone who asks how I feel: expressing what my anxiety feels like, or what people can do to help me. I pretty certain it is the fear: the fear is is making me feel stuck and scared to understand how I really feel. Pregnancy after…

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Maya’s 2nd Birthday.

Maya Richard Morgan-Chubb The most perfect angel was born June 28th, 2017 weighing 5 pounds, 14.6 ounces, measuring 21 inches long. I remember the disbelief when they laid him in my arms, I could not believe my partner and I created someone so perfect. His nose that framed his face perfectly, his chubby checks that…

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Stillborn But Still Born: My Son Who I STILL Love More Than Anything.

As I kid I would ask my mom “Why did you have so many kids when it hurts so bad to give birth?” and she would always say “Because as soon as you hold your child for the first time, all that pain goes away instantly and you are just in love, a love like…

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Diary Entry #6

6/26/19 11:05 AM 2 days. 2 days until my sons 2nd birthday. It has been 2 years since I said hello and good bye at once. I don’t know how to process this right now, I don’t know what to write or say. I am preparing and wishing for what could have been. 2 years,…

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Diary Entry #5

6/18/19 10:02 pm I have been having quit the existential crisis lately. I am so proud of myself for graduating high school and so excited to be able to explore the endless amount of possibilities/opportunities that are now at my fingertips, however I am scared it’s too late. Scared that by the time I figure…

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Diary Entry #4

6/16/19 Wow, I have been so busy lately. I was moving Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and have been trying to reorganize and get my house together in a way that makes me happy: decorating, organizing, cleaning, weeding etc. I am also approaching the the 2 year anniversary of my grandpa/dad dying and my son’s birthday.…

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Graduating High School at 22!

I should have been class of 2014, but I am here, class of 2019— finally graduating! Why didn’t you graduate with your class in 2014? School always had the same theme for me: I wouldn’t do my homework, and when I was in class I had no idea what was going on. I would sit and…

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