Diary Entry #12

7/29/19 9:56 AM It is almost 10:00 in the morning and I am barely functioning (seriously can’t wait to be allowed coffee.) I haven’t been getting any sleep lately because sleep when you are at the end of 3rd trimester is nearly impossible and then to add being absolutely-fucking-terrified-anxious-wreck to it makes me impossible. I…

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Diary Entry #10

4:16 PM 7/10/19 I am still sick but I think it is finally starting to let up a bit. I haven’t done anything the last two days because I have been sick and being sick and pregnant makes getting around and getting things done feel impossible. My existential has not let up one bit and…

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Diary Entry #9

7/9/19 10:22 Pregnant and sick! Yay! Haha. But in all seriousness I am so uncomfortable and pregnant. Being sick while you are pregnant is the absolute worst and I was feeling way too confident because I haven’t caught a cold this whole pregnant.. but here I am. There is still so much to get done…

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Diary Entry #8

7/5/19 10:23 am I have not been able to tell anyone who asks how I feel: expressing what my anxiety feels like, or what people can do to help me. I pretty certain it is the fear: the fear is is making me feel stuck and scared to understand how I really feel. Pregnancy after…

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Diary Entry #5

6/18/19 10:02 pm I have been having quit the existential crisis lately. I am so proud of myself for graduating high school and so excited to be able to explore the endless amount of possibilities/opportunities that are now at my fingertips, however I am scared it’s too late. Scared that by the time I figure…

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Diary Entry #4

6/16/19 Wow, I have been so busy lately. I was moving Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and have been trying to reorganize and get my house together in a way that makes me happy: decorating, organizing, cleaning, weeding etc. I am also approaching the the 2 year anniversary of my grandpa/dad dying and my son’s birthday.…

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Taking breaks from social media to reclaim yourself.

After my stillbirth I found myself falling down the rabbit whole that is social media. I knew exactly what was happening in everyone else’s lives, even more than I really knew what was going on in mine. I would sit for hours looking on Instagram seeing who was liking what, who was dating who, what…

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Diary Entry #2

5/22/19 7:58 Lately I have been doing a lot of reflecting about my anger and what how it has shaped myself and how I interact with others. Being anger has always been a safety net for me; kept me away from people who hurt me, made others keep a distance, and always saved me from…

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