Diary Entry #10

4:16 PM 7/10/19 I am still sick but I think it is finally starting to let up a bit. I haven’t done anything the last two days because I have been sick and being sick and pregnant makes getting around and getting things done feel impossible. My existential has not let up one bit and…

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Diary Entry #8

7/5/19 10:23 am I have not been able to tell anyone who asks how I feel: expressing what my anxiety feels like, or what people can do to help me. I pretty certain it is the fear: the fear is is making me feel stuck and scared to understand how I really feel. Pregnancy after…

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Diary Entry #5

6/18/19 10:02 pm I have been having quit the existential crisis lately. I am so proud of myself for graduating high school and so excited to be able to explore the endless amount of possibilities/opportunities that are now at my fingertips, however I am scared it’s too late. Scared that by the time I figure…

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Diary Entry #4

6/16/19 Wow, I have been so busy lately. I was moving Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and have been trying to reorganize and get my house together in a way that makes me happy: decorating, organizing, cleaning, weeding etc. I am also approaching the the 2 year anniversary of my grandpa/dad dying and my son’s birthday.…

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Graduating High School at 22!

I should have been class of 2014, but I am here, class of 2019— finally graduating! Why didn’t you graduate with your class in 2014? School always had the same theme for me: I wouldn’t do my homework, and when I was in class I had no idea what was going on. I would sit and…

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Taking breaks from social media to reclaim yourself.

After my stillbirth I found myself falling down the rabbit whole that is social media. I knew exactly what was happening in everyone else’s lives, even more than I really knew what was going on in mine. I would sit for hours looking on Instagram seeing who was liking what, who was dating who, what…

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Diary Entry #2

5/22/19 7:58 Lately I have been doing a lot of reflecting about my anger and what how it has shaped myself and how I interact with others. Being anger has always been a safety net for me; kept me away from people who hurt me, made others keep a distance, and always saved me from…

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Meeting My Dad For The First Time When I was 17!

The story My Mom met my father through her friend when she was 19, I call him Uncle Damian. My Dad had left Stockton to come to Santa Cruz to hangout by the beach and sell drugs. Knowing my mom, and knowing how she was when she was a young girl, she probably thought my…

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